'I'm moving to Delhi'.
Looking back on the doomsday when I uttered those words, I can only sway my head and 'tsk tsk' myself. The age-old Mumbaikar saying 'You can never adjust to Delhi once you've lived in Bombay' was brushed aside as a mere cliche. What I'd perhaps forgotten was the fact that all cliches are born because they are true more often than not. The realisation seeped in day by day, as I got used to the perpetual warnings attached to each conversation, about how I must live/behave while in the Dreaded D.
For the benefit of girls who might want to repeat my stunt, I've drawn a list to save them the trouble:
P.S: The following charter is nullified if you have a boyfriend/husband/full-time bodyguard to chauffeur you around 24x7. Or just get yourself a Rotweiller.
Do's & Don'ts
1. Be appropriately dressed at all times. Nothing you wear must be too tight/too short/ too flattering. Going by this, your Bombay wardrobe is totally disqualified, even if it's actually none of the three.
2. Remember Rule 1 even if you are just stepping out for 5 mins to walk to the nearest general store. When I had to do the same, I added a wraparound and a stole to what I was already wearing and then waltzed to the store looking like a cross between an Afghani women and a Hare Krishna devotee- no offence to either.
3. Remember Rule 1 even when you are at home. You never know when you might have to get the door for a courier boy/delivery man/ neighbouring uncle. Yes it's the same everywhere, but this is DELHI you see. Take NO chances. Cluck cluck.
4. Delhi despises solitary behaviour. Do NOT be unaccompanied, especially after sunset. And AT sunset. And before. Always be with another human being- boy,girl, group of girls & boys. Or at least a pepper spray.
5. Never walk too close to the main road, lest you are pulled in by a speeding van. Even on the pedestrian path, keep swaying your head like an owl in all directions to watch out for those who don't have a van to molest people in so choose to walk instead to brush past you.
6. Watch out for pickpockets. While you are trying to save your bottom from being pinched, someone might just pinch your wallet. When the same happened to me, I was told I was not 'careful' enough. True. I was lost in trying to protect my assets and juggling my shopping bags and positioning my stole appropriately time and again to avoid Stargazers.
7. Don't, in general, make heads turns. If something happens to you, it's probably coz YOU were standing out enough to attract bad karma.
All this is not to say that Bombay is the safest place on earth for women, it's just this general air of acceptance and respect I've experienced there, even at the most crowded local railway station, that I will have no qualms in bidding goodbye to the life and times of the Capital. There is a general 'alert status' in any city that women have switched on at all times, which makes me think at times how much better off I'd be born as a fish. Then I'd be quite comfortable in just my skin, literally. More importantly, everybody else would.
13 comments:
I agree with what you've mentioned in your blog!!
I would like to know what happened that led to this paradigm shift in thinking. But on the other hand maybe I don't. Because only thing is that i can get upset and worry and you don't want none of it ;)
"general air of acceptance and respect I've experienced there, even at the most crowded local railway station"
come on now! that is probably the most ridiculous thing to say about the local trains here!
Dear Ritwik,
Who are you? On second thoughts, I don't want to know.
Do you know why people blog? To air PERSONAL views.
If you're smart, you'll get what I'm saying. If not, you will argue further.
Yes fidgety sad but true--that's Delhi for you. Delhiites, specially men are a big fan of Police's --- Every breath you take. Every move you make….. The ogling devils will always hover around you
hey i can`t agree more..how can u forget to mention da night life..if u are going to a night club unaccompanied by any male form..den u hv just come to da club to be pounced upon by flash men in tight trousers.A group of girls just wanting to hv fun by demselves is sumthing our delhi men can`t understand.
Just Goes to Show you Missed the Entire Point of Delhi !!
While people in Mumbai might see you as just another person on the Road - Delhities make you an Instant Celebrity by being Awestruck when they see you !! Ever Noticed while in Delhi - It Doesn't Matter what you are Wearing or how Clad you are . People & by People I Mean Men , Women & Children just love to look & Its not their Fault that wherever they Look you happen to be Standing .
Ok JUST by those Random words starting with a capital letter I know who this is!! Silly goose!! hahahahaha.
Your post made me smile...
While i agree with the gist of Delhi not being very safe expecially for women...it isnt that bad either. I stayed in delhi for 6 years as a single working girl before moving out of the country recently.
But then again, i have never worked in Mumbai ...so maybe my frame of reference is totally different than yours. I understand that for somebody coming from Mumbai, the unsafe aura of Delhi is automatically magnified....
But hang in there, and you would realise that it isnt just as bad as it seems on the surface.
Good one!!
-Chirainda Blogger
http://hellisnext.blogspot.com/
though i have not been to mumbai but things written here are pretty real in delhi ..though my mum dad says delhi has not been this unsafe before say some 15 years back ...possibly its cuz so many ppl got into the richie-rich league of delhi just by selling thr gurgaon lands but sadly they dont have it in em to tolerate so much of lavishness n respect for other's privacy as thr roots belong close minded society
For someone who claims to be a traveller you sure have adjustment issues. I like to see how people react to girls in cities.. therefore I travel.
While some of what you say is true, it seems like you are imprisoned by fear and suspicion itself. And I don't blame you. Safety for women is a huge issue in this city and I find myself falling prey to such anxiety at the best of times. But the thing to remember is that the city isn't out to get you. And by passing on your fear as this list of do's and don't which frankly I find a tad extreme, you aren't helping anyone actually deal with sexual harassment. Having lived in Bombay as well, I can attest to that sense of freedom of movement one experiences in that city. Freedom that comes from some kind of anonymity in a crowd. But I can't forget the incident that occurred some years ago in the local train of Bombay when a mentally ill girl was raped and no one did a damn thing to try and stop it. Neither can I forget the image of the grown man jerking off outside my window in Mahim or my hostel room in Ahmedabad. Or the young women who were molested and beaten in Bangalore and Mangalore. There is no justification for sexual harassment, but by allowing oneself to feel like a prisoner in your skin will only heighten the oppression of it. Be on guard but don't be afraid or apologetic. Perhaps then you will see that no city is merely perverse or merely paradise.
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